The Valley

 Our School of Missions is located in a town called San Juan, that is part of a bunch of other towns all in the Rio Grand Valley.  Everyone here calls it the valley because you never know from one second to the next what town your actually in.  I’ve known this from the first week of living here.  Then one day about a week ago it hit me when someone said to me “WELCOME TO THE VALLEY!!  It hit me like a ton of bricks. This time has most definitely been a time of living in and walking through a valley. You know, the one mentioned in Psalm 23. (Which ironically our second week here we had to memorize the passage) “Even though I walk through the darkest valley”, or another version say “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death”  Let me give you a glimpse into this valley.  All of us students here have been under ATTACK. Complete 100% spiritual warfare type of attack.  You see when we are sitting in our pews at church (or for my church auditorium chairs J) the devil is a little ticked. He’s thinking oh well God won that one, but its just one person.  Then you leave church, and for the ones who drive to el sombrero (guilty) and forget about the sermon or living a life for God, you’re safe!  The ones who drive off and act on what was learned and continue striving to live a life worthy of our savior and sharing the good news, BEWARE!!! YOU will soon be under attack!!!   You see Satan doesn’t care about you if your not doing anything for the kingdom of God. The second you try to get someone else on God’s side, that’s when it happens!!! That is the same reason the rest of Psalm 23 says:

I will fear no evil, for you are with me: your rod and your staff, THEY COMFORT ME.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER.

I thought my first 6 months in Guatemala would make this time spent here in “The Valley” a breeze. But, I am learning how to be so much more effective in ministry in Guatemala that this valley is worse because I’m not with the kids I love so much!

Yes life here in the valley physically and emotionally is tasking, its ALWAYS HOT, were among the top ten poorest communities in the nation, THERE ARE BUGS EVERYWHERE, and the number one worst zip code for car insurance (because they drive like maniacs), oh and there is a war going on 2 miles directly south of our house, our front door literally faces straight into Mexico.

 So everyone’s fears are being tried and tested in this valley by the one trying to STOP us. Some with attack of the bajillion roaches here, attack of loneliness, attack of fear of the war, attack of being severely under supported, attack on health, and the worst attack SATANS LIES.  Satan keeps whispering to us all, don’t you want to go home to your loved ones, to the comforts you know, I mean your still in America and your being broken down, how will you survive in Guatemala?  Evil is trying to send us home, because there is a big task in front of us.  All of these conditions are magnified in Guatemala, but boy is it easier to handle it there amongst the culture each of us dearly love! 

I started this blog earlier in the week, and could never find the right words to finish, until today.  My roommate and amazing new friend Ashley and I have found a church (it’s a Matt Chandler plant!) that we love! Well, at the end of the sermon we sang the song, No mountain, NO VALLEY, No gain or loss we know COULD KEEP US FROM YOUR LOVE!.  NO VALLEY can keep us from his love, or HIS plan and purpose in our lives.  God ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS shows up, but especially so when we need him and the reminder of His love and grace the most. So satan, keep on because this may be our valley, but we are being built up for battle, and we are NOT going home. 

I am so thankful to my family and friends that God specifically put in my life for this time to encourage, and diligently pray. I received several packages and letters this week that I desperately needed to be pushed to keep going, and reminded that I am not in this alone.  Two months in to any new place always seems to be the hardest, but each day his love and mercies are new and we continue to learn more about what lays ahead, and what God has for us now and how much He loves us now! This is like basic training for His army, and I am thankful, even during the times I want to run away from here as fast as possible. So thank you for supporting me through this spiritually, financially, and emotionally! If you want to learn more about our ministry here and in Guatemala, please feel free to e-mail me anytime at cowart.colleen@gmail.com

Thank you for the MUCH needed prayers!

Last week we had the chance to walk into Mexico and it was a HUGE blessing.  It felt like home, at least the home we are preparing for in Guatemala, and was the reminder and boost we each needed to keep fighting (and studying!)

First Week!

I am so excited to be able to share this process and road with each and every one of you.  The first week of mission school is over, and wow do I have so much to learn!  First of all thank you, thank you, thank you, for your prayers and support thus far.  I cannot tell you how life changing each of you and will be in my life, and in return the lives that I will have the honor to meet and share Gods saving grace.  I want this blog to be a sounding bored. One in which you can hear what your prayer and financial support is doing in this ministry, and as a way for you to comment, encourage, teach, or just say hi! (I need a lot of hi’s by the way ;)).

The first week of school focused in on two of my biggest struggles, silence and finances.  Learning to just sit in silence and solitude and truly hear what God is saying to me. IT IS SO HARD….at first.  Blocking out the 3842934832948 things going on in my head and things I Have to get done is no easy task.  I can joyfully say after just one week, my spiritual life has changed immensely. Prayer followed by listening, is a daily miracle.  Coming to school under supported was a step of faith one in which I have been patiently waiting for the Lord to say “here I am, and all the support you need.” GREAT NEWS PEOPLE, He never left.  Not only that, He blessed this step in providing 50% of the support needed for my ministry. Every day is a step closer.  MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY than that, I have VISION of what exactly the Lord has ahead for me in Guatemala.  Some are still blurry, and I know that once I am there He will show off again with a clear path, daily opening and closing doors. I AM SOOO EXCITED TO SHARE THEM WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Please bare with my grammatical, spelling, rambling errors, it’s a message of passion that I am so desperate for you to read and know about!  Ready, Set, READ!

As you know, I will be primarily working with the children’s home, and with all of those faces I love and miss DEARLY every single day.  During my internship and visit back in March, my heart BROKE for the community of Villa Nueva and outlying communities in the area.  My job at the time was focused on working and helping out with all the many, many tasks that go into raising 50 plus kids, hosting teams, clinics, schools, the list goes on.  My passion is to see each and every child (and adult) that steps foot onto property to truly KNOW the LOVE of Jesus, and for that love to swell up so much in there heart that it overflows into their lives, and the desperate, broken, poor, slum we live in.  I can imagine now, children asking to serve and help out our neighbors.  Simple acts of feeding those (who if lucky) eat once a week, pitching in to build homes, to teach their friends of the life changing/healing hand of Jesus.  Let me make a (poor) attempt to paint a clearer picture of where the kiddos in our home came from. T

They have come from background where some were SOLD (for less than 10 dollars to do who know what), ABUSED, 6 year olds being the head of the house feeding and caring for younger siblings, completely abandoned.  These kids, are already finding healing and a life in JESUS, in turn they will change their communities. They will be the church, they will relate, they will LOVE.  I see myself discipling these children, forming relationships with the community whom live in the most dangerous living conditions one can imagine, teaching classes on health and child and family development (finally using my major!), and eating with a widowed mom of 8.  These are my God given dreams, visions, and hopes for this community that has stolen my heart.  If you have never seen a third world country, its hard to even begin to know what a slum in a third world country is like. But my heart cries out for you to PRAY with me on this vision, to become a part of it. Because my dream is getting even bigger friends! It involves you my friends and family, coming to serve, visit and be a physical part of this.  Forming teams throughout the community of Statesboro (or wherever you are!) to bring your resources, knowledge, or your ability to sit and drink a cup of coffee and be relational. DISCIPLING, DISCIPLING, DISCIPLING! It is time we step up and step out of our comfort. I love how David Platt words this requirement of our walk in his book Radical “My biggest fear, is that I will hear Jesus’ words and walk away, content to settle for less than radical obedience to him.

Many have asked when I will be in Guatemala after the school ends in December.  I finally have an answer!!! Not because I am fully supported (which NLAI requires before purchasing a plane ticket), but because God clearly told me to trust in him for every single need in this journey and always. So January 18,2013 IM GOING TO GUATEMALA!  The funds are the only thing lacking after school is completed, and OUR GOD is BIGGER than lacking 50%.  Even though He doesn’t need to, He has proven that over and over again.

If you are interested in more of this vision, want to come on a team one day, want to support financially, or just want to say hi please e-mail me! Would love an update on YOUR life! Thank you for letting me share this with you, and I cannot wait to see and HEAR what all God does (and I can’t wait to see you down there!)

Many Blessings!

Colleen

Rest and Thankfulness!

Since the day I came back from Guatemala in April, it has been a straight marathon. The Lord knows I work best under extreme pressure (especially time constraints) and so I am convinced that is why it took so long for me to FINALLY see God’s clear and perfect path to becoming full time with NLAI.  Along with making decisions at the last possible moment, came a lot of ground work in a short amount of time. Support packets sent, people met with, car sold, all of my belongings packed into 4 suitcases, everything else sold/given away, and marrying off a best friend ;).  Now it is time to enjoy a week of rest before heading to the School of Missions.  I am soaking in this time with my family.  Knowing they are about to move to Italy has made time with them even more precious.  Life as an army brat was always an adventure but really hard at times.  Saying goodbye to friends or my dad was a part of almost every day life, I remember when I was little thinking, well when we are older we will all live in the same place and life will be great.  Well my sister Katie just accepted a job in Texas, parents heading out end of this month to Italy, All of my Grandparents are in Georgia/South Carolina,  friends literally all over the world and I am in Guatemala (via San Juan, Texas ha). Yep, we are a lot closer now! Oh wait.. All this to say the stress of getting things done, mounted when I thought of the separation that’s coming.   I am so thankful that one day when this life is over we will all be together! 

For now I just wanted to say THANK YOU, for all of you who listened to me as I debated on what to do, encouraged me to be patient (another downfall of mine), and did everything you could to help emotionally, prayerfully, and financially! I think of each of you as my beloved family!

Now that I have time to sit, and process my heart is BURSTING with ideas on ministry both while in San Juan and once I am finally in my home in Guatemala. :) I cannot wait to see how things continue to progress. Thank you for joining me on this journey and continuing to do life with me far a part.

Please keep in your prayers:

1, Ease and safety in moving to San Juan, and my parents as a week later they move to Italy. 

2. I am only at 35% of monthly support. Each day is a test of faith as time comes closer to starting the School of Missions. I know the Lord will take care of me, this is just truly an amazing path of Faith!

3. Melvin as he continues to go through medical treatment to become healed from Leukemia. 

I would LOVE to hear all that is going on with each of you, and things that I can be praying for! cowart.colleen@gmail.com

Love you all!

Colleen :)

Season of Silence

Back in May/June my sweet friend Alison sent me various podcasts to encourage me through the tough time of adjusting to life in Guatemala.  I listened too many of them but I didn't have time for them all.  Today I was going through some e-mails and found one that I had not listened to. It was from a guy named Dan Lian who is a preacher in Australia and was visiting Alison and Daniel’s church. First of all it was a GREAT message; second of all it was exactly what I needed to hear for right now in my life.  I'm sure if would have been great back in June as well, but it spoke more clearly to me now on the other side of the season I was in at the time.

He starts off telling the story of when Jesus and the disciples were in the boat and that storm struck, and all of the disciples were freaking out and wondering why Jesus was sleeping and not doing something.  If you are unfamiliar with this story it comes from Mark chapter 4 starting about verse 35.  My favorite thing that Jesus says is in verse 40. "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"
WO! This struck me big time! If you recall earlier posts, I almost went home the second day of being in Guatemala, then the third, fourth, fifth, and so on for the first month or so.  God was teaching me FAITH, I was scared every day, and so convinced that I had "misheard" what God wanted in my life. Keeping in mind that for the past 4 years all I wanted to do was move here and work at a Children’s Home.  I was living in fear and not in faith.

How does this apply to my life now? I have only 7 weeks left in Guatemala, and have no idea what is next. I feel as though I haven't heard anything from the Lord as to what’s next, that I have been living in this season of silence.  I have about 9384398 options and not the slightest clue in what direction to go.  I find myself dwelling on what’s next instead of what’s here. I’m fearful of the sadness that will come when I have to say goodbye to all of these precious faces that I have fallen so deeply in love with. There is the fear of not having money, and the fear of just not knowing which way to go.  HELLO! Have I learned nothing the past 6 months?! God has a plan!!  Anyway in the podcast Dan went on to say that in the story with Jesus, the disciples, and the boat, the whole time JESUS WAS IN THE BOAT. They could see him physically there, did they think he wasn’t going to do something? He’s in my boat He is in yours. Do we think he isn’t doing anything, just because it may be a season of silence, where we don’t see what He is doing in our lives?  He is here with you and me through EVERYTHING.  Where to go from here? It doesn't matter, Jesus is in my boat.  And even more so than that, God has been, is, and always will be in control.  We can't mess up on where to go because He is guiding, and He is not going to let go of us, ever. I don't know about you but there is such a peace and confidence that you gain from having FAITH, in his word that says "I will never leave you, nor forsake you".  Would I love to know what’s to come, ABSOLUTELY, would it mess up what God has for me now if I knew, ABSOLUTELY.  So once again I’m reminded how small my faith is and how big my God is.  Dan closes with this quote and I hope it helps you through whatever season you’re going through”
 "By His grace, for His glory, and for your good, and in His time, He will act.  In the mean time know He's doing something good anyway."



In other news, this past weekend all of the houseparent’s went on a retreat.  Great for them, sleepless for us! haha. 5 month old Marvin and I had a sleepover, it only took me one night of waking up almost hourly to realize that 1. I don't want babies; I want to start off with potty trained toddlers, and 2. I definitely could not do it alone! Night two I pulled in Shelly so we could switch off every time he cried; turns out you still don't sleep.  So now it’s back to my original plan of just starting off with toddlers. ;)  All in all it was such a fun weekend, and I was so grateful for the opportunity to help out even more.  Here are some of my favorite photos from the weekend:

Giving 3 year old Alejandro a bath, he LOVES them.

This was at about 3am when Marvin wouldn't sleep; I realized he just needed a face mask. I mean I can't sleep without one either buddy.

No Houseparent's? WATER FIGGGGHT.



Trusting

I could never really explain in words why I chose to be here for 6 months.  Other than I didn't, God did.  Each day it becomes more and more clear as to why He said that.  Many people tried to tell me that 6 months was too long, that I should just do the 3 months my school required and come home.  I believed it myself at times and almost took the shorter route. This has become "home".  Yes I miss familiar sounds, voices, and faces but life here is magical and wonderful.  I am exactly where I need to be.  If I had listened to those voices, I would be on a plane home right now instead of enjoying the sounds of children playing outside as I tell their stories.  I know I don't update much, but its because I "work" about 15 hours a day 6 (lately 7 days) a week.  It's not work, its pouring into the lives of these kids here as they pour back into mind.  I have relationships with these kids that I never thought possible, and I love them even more.  So as hard as it is to think of heading home in 8 weeks, its completely unimaginable to have to go home now.

But I might have to.  I still need $800 to stay.  Some pledges have fallen through because of the economy, and other reasons.  This internship has taught me more than I can put into words, but more importantly it has shown me a glimpse into my future.  I want more than anything to come back here and live.  I want to be a full time missionary, but I'm scared. I'm scared that I haven't even been able to raise the final $800 of the original $4,400, so how am I going to raise $20,000?  I know our God is big and he provides, but so many people say that and don't believe it themselves.  I believe it.  Jesus tells us directly in Mark 16:15 He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. So many read that and think yes thats true, for some but not for me. No its true for us all, and though some "can't" go, they can send.  I am so thankful for those of you who have supported me through prayer and finances.  I am here to ask you if their is something you can give up, so that I can stay and continue ministry here.  Not only now but quite possibly in the future.  I have no idea how that looks yet, but I know that my heart strings are being pulled in a way I have never experienced. 



If you can financially support me to stay, please send an e-mail to me at  rcowart4@georgiasouthern.edu


In other news, this past monday we had a total of 8 earthquakes in 13 hours. We were in McDonalds for the largest one (5.9), what an adventure that was! My nutrition teacher always said McDonalds could kill you. :)

Last week we had a small group here and they helped me with activities such as cookouts for the older boys, movie night for the older girls, and a movie/game day with the younger boys and girls.  Here are some photo's from our great times!!!

This is Josue, I tutor him in the afternoons. I have some great stories with that one :)

My two roomates (L) Dalila (R) Gladys.  We had a chicken night!

Sammy learning to make hamburgers at our cookout!

Just a typical Sunday bus ride to church. Always an adventure!

Some of our little ones having a movie and snack day!

This week the Wheelers (they are the directors of the home) came back!!! So glad, they have a awesome but tiring job!



I love and miss you all so much! Thanks for reading =)

I am so bad at keeping up with posts!!! Life has been really busy at the Children's home. We are short all of our missionaries ha ha.  It has been so wonderful though.  I feel as though I am really finding my spot here, and getting to know all of the kids well.  Every day I am so excited to see them, and I am truly thankful for that.

An update on our two little boys who's Uncle fought for in court. THEY ARE DOING GREAT!! Turns out the uncle built a house and bought land all in their name, and is sending the oldest to school and they are in a good family enviroment.  We even got to see them at church.  This is such a praise and blessing.  Especially after this weekend.

We have had a couple of emotionally draining weekends.  For the protection of our kids and ourselves I am unable to write about them.  Some of you may know and if you don't feel free to e-mail me for a prayer list! Just know a lot of our kids have a lot of emotional turmoil going on right now and desperately need prayers, for healing, and hope that with God they have a future. 

This past weekend we had a speaker named Rob Mitchell come speak to our home.  He is an author of a book about his life in an orphanage in the United States.  He wrote about how it was a good home to live in, but that no matter how poor he would of been he always wanted to go home.  Yesterday he asked our kids how many just want to go home despite their circumstances, majority raised their hands.  It was so tough to know that as happy and safe and provided for as our kids are, they still long for that mom&dad family.  I think it sparked a lot inside of them. I am so greatful that he was able to come, he was so encouraging to us as staff as well.  GO READ HIS BOOK!!! Cast Away Kid.

Here are some pictures of the past month!!!

 Alejandro playing outside =) He is so fun!

 Look at my fabulous view from my apartment ;)

 Anna was an intern last year, she came for a visit and we rode ina took took (motorcycle with a carraige) talk about scary...

 Here is recent photo of Marvin!!! He is growing FAST!!!

 We have had 2 birthdays this week above is Jenifer (19) and below Chiky (18)

 Taking advantage of the rain free days we have been having :) woo hoo!!

 I promised all of the kids "vaca negra's" (coke floats) if they finished their Christmas cards in 2 weeks. 35 out of 46 did it!!! Such a fun night!

Sheila and I enjoying the beautiful sun!

Those are a few photos from activities we have been having! I will update more this week (I hope!) Meanwhile if you could pray for safety with the upcoming elections this week, sometimes things get a little crazy.  For continued health and safety at our home with the other missionaries away. And last but not least that the Lord will provide the final $800.00 needed for me to stay.

I love and miss you all!!! E-mail me if you have any prayer requests or just want to talk :)

rcowart4@georgiasouthern.edu

Hey friends! Sorry for the delayed update, it has been a busy time. On Friday I wrapped up language school and moved back to the Children’s Home in Villa Nueva and it feels so good to be here. I feel like I am right where I need to be. I came back Friday afternoon after class.  There was a team here already so I jumped in with them and started to get to know the kids and try to remember all 5o+ names =).  It was a great weekend and Monday started off my first “real day”.

In the morning I met with a lady named Sylvia she is on staff full time here and is a Guatemalan social worker.  In the mornings I am going to be helping her.  Yesterday was just an introduction type day but she said she was thankful for extra hands because the past weekend she had been working all day and night trying to make sure she had the perfect argument as to why two of our boys Kevin and Melvin needed to stay at the home.  To give a little background Kevin is 5 and Melvin just turned 3. Kevin’s mom was born to a 16 yr old girl and shortly after Melvin was born their mom abandoned them with their grandma. She was already caring for other grandchildren and could not handle 2 more. She then brought them to our home. That was almost 2 years ago. Kevin has always been fearful of being separated from his brother Melvin and with no family members asking for them or anything, they were told that they were home and that wouldn’t happen. Kevin is very protective of Melvin and such a sweet brother with a big smile and heart to match.  Joy taught 3 yr old Marvin how to say I love you in English and it melts your heart when he tells you.  Anyway I asked if going to the judge today meant there was a chance they would not come back, and was told that there is always a chance but no one ever knows.  I got the impression that it could happen but probably not.

So I went on with the day. Mondays will be spent grocery shopping for the whole home (that is a lot of food!). It was a good time and I got to know Staci and Joy better and get to see more of Villa Nueva and Guatemala City.  When we got back to the home we found out that in fact the judge decided to send Kevin and Melvin to live with an uncle who happened to show up to the hearing and did not even ask for them.  The boys did not even have a chance to come get their things and say goodbye, they had to leave right after the hearing with their uncle. I later found out that Guatemala is trying to shutdown all Children’s Homes.  So no matter how poor or abusive a family member might be, if there is a living one, than chances are the judge will rule in favor of the kids moving in with the family member.  Honduras has apparently shut down all children’s homes within 24 hours forcing them to move in with whatever situation they were pulled out of.  It is so infuriating, how about the government spend more time tracking down the 98% criminals of murder who go without a conviction and less time taking away children from a place that they are not only happy in but thriving. 

Betty the boy’s house mom and Sylvia need special prayer as well as all the other kids and staff members.  3 more of our kids go to a judge today as well.  I’m believing that our God is big enough to keep his hand in all these situations and protect them.   Today we were also told that we will not be able to appeal to get the boys back. Please pray that they are safe and have this overwhelming peace in their hearts that can only come from God.  I’m praying fervently for their return, and for all the other kids to remain here.  Please join us all in this prayer.

“Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless.” Isaiah 1:17

I have some pictures from language school of my teacher and family and more updates but for now I just beg that you all take a second and pray specifically for Kevin and Melvin.  Thank you.

Love You all.

 Above is Melvin and his and Kevins house mom Betty.

This is precious Kevin.