Poco de Poco

LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER!  I’m postingt the blog that I wrote on my computer Monday night and one from today.  I didn’t have much time for internet yesterday so I am just now posting it.  I hope you all know that your encouraging messages and comments have kept me going.  Seriously every single one!!!  I have never truly understood the effect that encouragement could really have on someone until you all covered me with it.  Yes, I am now begging to please keep it coming =).  So first is my blog from Monday night and then a shorter JOY filled one with pictures from today! Press on, it means the world to know that you all are reading about my life here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Monday’s depressing’ish blog~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Written Monday May 30, 2011

I hoped I would go one day without crying. But nights are hard. Dinner is over by 6:30, and that’s it for the night. It’s me and my room and the scary unfamiliar sounds that are outside.  I know God wants me here, and that’s what sucks the most is that I can’t just call it quits and go home. Home for now is not where He wants me.  My so smart new friend Halie made a good point to me on our walk back to our separate houses, she noticed my joyful mood turn sad again and when she asked me about it I just thought back to college and how I always knew there would be someone to hang out with when I got home who loved me and would watch out for me and I for them.  Don’t get me wrong I have very sweet house parents but our conversations aren’t very in depth obviously since I’m not fluent in Spanish (but I mean pretty dang close ;).  But after dinner I shower and come into my room and well, for tonight I am writing this. It’s my way of sharing with you all what’s going on, and talking with God at the same time.  Anyway so Haley was telling me I could always just go hang out with friends or get on facebook or watch tv, but here at the house we don’t have any of those things.  I’m writing this on word and posting the next day when I go to an internet café.  So this is God’s way of saying Colleen I want all of your attention.  But I’m an immediate gratification person, I can’t see him, I can’t hear him right away so I get frustrated and sad and for now, I just want a hug from a familiar face.

So my wonderful roommates that I am desperately missing wrote me a letter for each day I would be at language school. (They apparently knew how stinking difficult this would be, but they didn’t tell me!).  Anyway so those are so encouraging and the hi-light of my day, well except when I get to talk to my mom and dad, which makes me more sad because I’m so lucky to have the best parents in the world when these kids have no one.  So along with the letters Alison also wrote out a whole Journal for me, how wonderful is that?! So on today’s page was a picture of me and my mom.  To soon Alison, way too soon ;) anyway I lost it, I really thought I wouldn’t cry today. Well Natalie also made me this beautiful scrapbook with letters from all my close friends and my family to look at.  So while I decided to pick more at this scab, I decided I may as well look through it and just weep all night again.

That was such a good decision, because here is a quote that was in it and immediately I knew God is here and showing up. Thanks Lord for the immediate gratification.

“If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we’ll let him finish the work.  I fear, however, that we are so attention deficit that we settle for bearable, when beauty is just around the corner.”

-Beth Moore

So I’m not coming home, I’m looking for Jesus through all this because I know that I am here for a specific purpose both at language school and in the lives of these children who have had so many let them down already.  Beauty is just around the corner, and for tonight I’m going to bed completely trusting God in that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HAPPY BLOG TIME ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Written today Wednesday!

SO LIFE IS 10000000000 times better.  Because of all of you praying so hard and sending me so much encouragement God has shown me just how wonderful he is, when you humble yourself to ask others for help and prayers and then rely solely on him.

Monday I made 4 new friends, Tuesday I met 2 more (one is an aggie and one goes to Baylor!) and later this afternoon I’m meeting my very first and so sweet friend Halie in the park to meet more people.  It’s Wednesday and I feel like I have lived here forever.  I’m not getting lost every corner (just every other corner), I had my first experience dropping my laundry off and praying that it all comes back to me.  We will find out later tonight ;).  I went shopping at La BodeGona (it’s a grocery store), stepped over a passed out Guatemalteco (my espanol professor told me that people from Guatemala are Guatemalteco’s not Guatemalans).  I mean it’s been busy!   Oh and I have been electrocuted.  So hot water is rare and the only way they can get it is to have all these wires hanging over the middle of the shower attaching to the shower head.  Mind you these are uncovered electrical wires that water comes out next to.  So I was paying special attention to not die for most of my shower until I was getting aggravated at the lack of water pressure and my obnoxiously thick hair and I threw my hands up to scrub out my shampoo harder when SHOCK, I hit the wires, ouch, it really hurt.  Don’t worry I survived.  My finger hurt all the next day but it happens. Oh and the best part, the water was never even hot.

 I enjoy small stories like that, so I hope you do too =)

So some things I love about Antigua, my host family are sooooo nice and patient with my espanol.  My room is PINK, their german shepherd dog (Romeo) is about as sweet as they come, our meals are amazing I love Guatemalan food, especially when its spaghettiJ.  I FOUND DIET COKE!!! It’s the equivalent of like 42 cents.  Oh and it gets better people, there is a SUBWAY (like the sandwich place!) AND BEST OF ALL I FOUND A LEGIT CREPE RESTAURANT!!! Just like the ones in Paris or Germany, or at least I hope.  They looked the same and they have nutella and strawberry! That’s going to be Sunday’s adventure with my new friends. On Sundays we are not provided with meals, which is great because I’m ready to explore more places besides café’s. 

 So this is the parrrot that was outside my room this afternoon on the avocado tree

 This is my room at language school ITS PINK

 Dropping my laundry off :)

 Romeo is so sweet. But scared me the first night.

 THe view from language school! How awesome :)

So thank you all for all your love and support! I promise to get back to all of you bit by bit. Internet is limited but know that I LOVE YOU!