Season of Silence

Back in May/June my sweet friend Alison sent me various podcasts to encourage me through the tough time of adjusting to life in Guatemala.  I listened too many of them but I didn't have time for them all.  Today I was going through some e-mails and found one that I had not listened to. It was from a guy named Dan Lian who is a preacher in Australia and was visiting Alison and Daniel’s church. First of all it was a GREAT message; second of all it was exactly what I needed to hear for right now in my life.  I'm sure if would have been great back in June as well, but it spoke more clearly to me now on the other side of the season I was in at the time.

He starts off telling the story of when Jesus and the disciples were in the boat and that storm struck, and all of the disciples were freaking out and wondering why Jesus was sleeping and not doing something.  If you are unfamiliar with this story it comes from Mark chapter 4 starting about verse 35.  My favorite thing that Jesus says is in verse 40. "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"
WO! This struck me big time! If you recall earlier posts, I almost went home the second day of being in Guatemala, then the third, fourth, fifth, and so on for the first month or so.  God was teaching me FAITH, I was scared every day, and so convinced that I had "misheard" what God wanted in my life. Keeping in mind that for the past 4 years all I wanted to do was move here and work at a Children’s Home.  I was living in fear and not in faith.

How does this apply to my life now? I have only 7 weeks left in Guatemala, and have no idea what is next. I feel as though I haven't heard anything from the Lord as to what’s next, that I have been living in this season of silence.  I have about 9384398 options and not the slightest clue in what direction to go.  I find myself dwelling on what’s next instead of what’s here. I’m fearful of the sadness that will come when I have to say goodbye to all of these precious faces that I have fallen so deeply in love with. There is the fear of not having money, and the fear of just not knowing which way to go.  HELLO! Have I learned nothing the past 6 months?! God has a plan!!  Anyway in the podcast Dan went on to say that in the story with Jesus, the disciples, and the boat, the whole time JESUS WAS IN THE BOAT. They could see him physically there, did they think he wasn’t going to do something? He’s in my boat He is in yours. Do we think he isn’t doing anything, just because it may be a season of silence, where we don’t see what He is doing in our lives?  He is here with you and me through EVERYTHING.  Where to go from here? It doesn't matter, Jesus is in my boat.  And even more so than that, God has been, is, and always will be in control.  We can't mess up on where to go because He is guiding, and He is not going to let go of us, ever. I don't know about you but there is such a peace and confidence that you gain from having FAITH, in his word that says "I will never leave you, nor forsake you".  Would I love to know what’s to come, ABSOLUTELY, would it mess up what God has for me now if I knew, ABSOLUTELY.  So once again I’m reminded how small my faith is and how big my God is.  Dan closes with this quote and I hope it helps you through whatever season you’re going through”
 "By His grace, for His glory, and for your good, and in His time, He will act.  In the mean time know He's doing something good anyway."



In other news, this past weekend all of the houseparent’s went on a retreat.  Great for them, sleepless for us! haha. 5 month old Marvin and I had a sleepover, it only took me one night of waking up almost hourly to realize that 1. I don't want babies; I want to start off with potty trained toddlers, and 2. I definitely could not do it alone! Night two I pulled in Shelly so we could switch off every time he cried; turns out you still don't sleep.  So now it’s back to my original plan of just starting off with toddlers. ;)  All in all it was such a fun weekend, and I was so grateful for the opportunity to help out even more.  Here are some of my favorite photos from the weekend:

Giving 3 year old Alejandro a bath, he LOVES them.

This was at about 3am when Marvin wouldn't sleep; I realized he just needed a face mask. I mean I can't sleep without one either buddy.

No Houseparent's? WATER FIGGGGHT.



Trusting

I could never really explain in words why I chose to be here for 6 months.  Other than I didn't, God did.  Each day it becomes more and more clear as to why He said that.  Many people tried to tell me that 6 months was too long, that I should just do the 3 months my school required and come home.  I believed it myself at times and almost took the shorter route. This has become "home".  Yes I miss familiar sounds, voices, and faces but life here is magical and wonderful.  I am exactly where I need to be.  If I had listened to those voices, I would be on a plane home right now instead of enjoying the sounds of children playing outside as I tell their stories.  I know I don't update much, but its because I "work" about 15 hours a day 6 (lately 7 days) a week.  It's not work, its pouring into the lives of these kids here as they pour back into mind.  I have relationships with these kids that I never thought possible, and I love them even more.  So as hard as it is to think of heading home in 8 weeks, its completely unimaginable to have to go home now.

But I might have to.  I still need $800 to stay.  Some pledges have fallen through because of the economy, and other reasons.  This internship has taught me more than I can put into words, but more importantly it has shown me a glimpse into my future.  I want more than anything to come back here and live.  I want to be a full time missionary, but I'm scared. I'm scared that I haven't even been able to raise the final $800 of the original $4,400, so how am I going to raise $20,000?  I know our God is big and he provides, but so many people say that and don't believe it themselves.  I believe it.  Jesus tells us directly in Mark 16:15 He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. So many read that and think yes thats true, for some but not for me. No its true for us all, and though some "can't" go, they can send.  I am so thankful for those of you who have supported me through prayer and finances.  I am here to ask you if their is something you can give up, so that I can stay and continue ministry here.  Not only now but quite possibly in the future.  I have no idea how that looks yet, but I know that my heart strings are being pulled in a way I have never experienced. 



If you can financially support me to stay, please send an e-mail to me at  rcowart4@georgiasouthern.edu


In other news, this past monday we had a total of 8 earthquakes in 13 hours. We were in McDonalds for the largest one (5.9), what an adventure that was! My nutrition teacher always said McDonalds could kill you. :)

Last week we had a small group here and they helped me with activities such as cookouts for the older boys, movie night for the older girls, and a movie/game day with the younger boys and girls.  Here are some photo's from our great times!!!

This is Josue, I tutor him in the afternoons. I have some great stories with that one :)

My two roomates (L) Dalila (R) Gladys.  We had a chicken night!

Sammy learning to make hamburgers at our cookout!

Just a typical Sunday bus ride to church. Always an adventure!

Some of our little ones having a movie and snack day!

This week the Wheelers (they are the directors of the home) came back!!! So glad, they have a awesome but tiring job!



I love and miss you all so much! Thanks for reading =)

I am so bad at keeping up with posts!!! Life has been really busy at the Children's home. We are short all of our missionaries ha ha.  It has been so wonderful though.  I feel as though I am really finding my spot here, and getting to know all of the kids well.  Every day I am so excited to see them, and I am truly thankful for that.

An update on our two little boys who's Uncle fought for in court. THEY ARE DOING GREAT!! Turns out the uncle built a house and bought land all in their name, and is sending the oldest to school and they are in a good family enviroment.  We even got to see them at church.  This is such a praise and blessing.  Especially after this weekend.

We have had a couple of emotionally draining weekends.  For the protection of our kids and ourselves I am unable to write about them.  Some of you may know and if you don't feel free to e-mail me for a prayer list! Just know a lot of our kids have a lot of emotional turmoil going on right now and desperately need prayers, for healing, and hope that with God they have a future. 

This past weekend we had a speaker named Rob Mitchell come speak to our home.  He is an author of a book about his life in an orphanage in the United States.  He wrote about how it was a good home to live in, but that no matter how poor he would of been he always wanted to go home.  Yesterday he asked our kids how many just want to go home despite their circumstances, majority raised their hands.  It was so tough to know that as happy and safe and provided for as our kids are, they still long for that mom&dad family.  I think it sparked a lot inside of them. I am so greatful that he was able to come, he was so encouraging to us as staff as well.  GO READ HIS BOOK!!! Cast Away Kid.

Here are some pictures of the past month!!!

 Alejandro playing outside =) He is so fun!

 Look at my fabulous view from my apartment ;)

 Anna was an intern last year, she came for a visit and we rode ina took took (motorcycle with a carraige) talk about scary...

 Here is recent photo of Marvin!!! He is growing FAST!!!

 We have had 2 birthdays this week above is Jenifer (19) and below Chiky (18)

 Taking advantage of the rain free days we have been having :) woo hoo!!

 I promised all of the kids "vaca negra's" (coke floats) if they finished their Christmas cards in 2 weeks. 35 out of 46 did it!!! Such a fun night!

Sheila and I enjoying the beautiful sun!

Those are a few photos from activities we have been having! I will update more this week (I hope!) Meanwhile if you could pray for safety with the upcoming elections this week, sometimes things get a little crazy.  For continued health and safety at our home with the other missionaries away. And last but not least that the Lord will provide the final $800.00 needed for me to stay.

I love and miss you all!!! E-mail me if you have any prayer requests or just want to talk :)

rcowart4@georgiasouthern.edu

Hey friends! Sorry for the delayed update, it has been a busy time. On Friday I wrapped up language school and moved back to the Children’s Home in Villa Nueva and it feels so good to be here. I feel like I am right where I need to be. I came back Friday afternoon after class.  There was a team here already so I jumped in with them and started to get to know the kids and try to remember all 5o+ names =).  It was a great weekend and Monday started off my first “real day”.

In the morning I met with a lady named Sylvia she is on staff full time here and is a Guatemalan social worker.  In the mornings I am going to be helping her.  Yesterday was just an introduction type day but she said she was thankful for extra hands because the past weekend she had been working all day and night trying to make sure she had the perfect argument as to why two of our boys Kevin and Melvin needed to stay at the home.  To give a little background Kevin is 5 and Melvin just turned 3. Kevin’s mom was born to a 16 yr old girl and shortly after Melvin was born their mom abandoned them with their grandma. She was already caring for other grandchildren and could not handle 2 more. She then brought them to our home. That was almost 2 years ago. Kevin has always been fearful of being separated from his brother Melvin and with no family members asking for them or anything, they were told that they were home and that wouldn’t happen. Kevin is very protective of Melvin and such a sweet brother with a big smile and heart to match.  Joy taught 3 yr old Marvin how to say I love you in English and it melts your heart when he tells you.  Anyway I asked if going to the judge today meant there was a chance they would not come back, and was told that there is always a chance but no one ever knows.  I got the impression that it could happen but probably not.

So I went on with the day. Mondays will be spent grocery shopping for the whole home (that is a lot of food!). It was a good time and I got to know Staci and Joy better and get to see more of Villa Nueva and Guatemala City.  When we got back to the home we found out that in fact the judge decided to send Kevin and Melvin to live with an uncle who happened to show up to the hearing and did not even ask for them.  The boys did not even have a chance to come get their things and say goodbye, they had to leave right after the hearing with their uncle. I later found out that Guatemala is trying to shutdown all Children’s Homes.  So no matter how poor or abusive a family member might be, if there is a living one, than chances are the judge will rule in favor of the kids moving in with the family member.  Honduras has apparently shut down all children’s homes within 24 hours forcing them to move in with whatever situation they were pulled out of.  It is so infuriating, how about the government spend more time tracking down the 98% criminals of murder who go without a conviction and less time taking away children from a place that they are not only happy in but thriving. 

Betty the boy’s house mom and Sylvia need special prayer as well as all the other kids and staff members.  3 more of our kids go to a judge today as well.  I’m believing that our God is big enough to keep his hand in all these situations and protect them.   Today we were also told that we will not be able to appeal to get the boys back. Please pray that they are safe and have this overwhelming peace in their hearts that can only come from God.  I’m praying fervently for their return, and for all the other kids to remain here.  Please join us all in this prayer.

“Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless.” Isaiah 1:17

I have some pictures from language school of my teacher and family and more updates but for now I just beg that you all take a second and pray specifically for Kevin and Melvin.  Thank you.

Love You all.

 Above is Melvin and his and Kevins house mom Betty.

This is precious Kevin.

Update =)

I hate that it has been so long since my last update! I lost my computer cord and just got a new one. My first transaction in spanish by myself. It's the right one and works so I guess I did a good job! =)
Life has been really good! Last weekend I climbed a volcano called Pacaya and it was absolutely gorgeous!!! Pictures do not do it justice. Never in my life would I have thought I would enjoy getting up at 5am to go on a 4 hour hike. BUT I LOVED IT

On to more important things. Last wednesday I got to spend time with Miguel and Oscar. I met Miguel's sister Ladi. They are so sweet.  It turns out that they do have a mom, she just can't afford to look after them so they sleep at the home at night and go to school during the day and find jobs to do during the afternoon.  They are so sweet, please keep them in your prayers and that doors would open for the mom to find a job and be able to take care of her children. Miguel has 3 other siblings besides Ladi.
This is a picture of Miguel and the origami swan he made me at school! I looooove it.

 This is a photo with Oscar far left, Miguel, and then Ladi is on my right. Do they not have the sweetest smiles! One of the most fun nights I have had so far.

So next week is my last week at language school, and then I head back to the childrens home! I am really excited to get back and start to get to know everyone and build relationships with everyone.  There is a brand new 7 week baby that just moved to the home, and cannot wait to watch him! Please pray for the transition to the home and the start of building relathionships and getting into the swing of life there. And that my spanish will hold up with them and improve. Yikes!


Thank you for all of your continued prayers =) Love and miss each of you!

Matthew 11

I am so thankful for all of the responses that I received from my  last post. Because of you, I have been able to clearly see what God has for me and this time here in Guatemala.  I AM STAYING!!! I made the decision Thursday after receiving e-mails pledging about $900.00 in a 24 hour period. If thats not God screaming STAY PUT, then I don't know what is.  I still need about $600 more, but I know it will come and that God has me here so I don't need to worry about it. THANK YOU. Thank you for giving, for praying, encouraging, and helping me see God.  I have never experienced a journey like this, and to think its only the start of week 4 of this 6 month journey.

This past week on wednesday I got to take part in a program feeding a lot of the homeless in the area.  I made friends with these two boys Miguel and Oscar. They are both 14. They live in an Albergue, which I later found out has a different meaning than the ones in Mexico that I have been to. Here they only go there to sleep at night, no food, no support, no love. I found out the hardway. Me and my limited Spanish asked Miguel why he was at the gathering instead of at home at the Albergue, he told in these exact translated words "Because I don't have a family".  I assumed the Albergue was like in Mexico and provided a family and everything. He then told me how different it was here.  I thankfully held in the tears and heartbreak to finish our conversation. I want to adopt him as my little brother, he was so king and grateful. I cannot wait to see him next week, please pray that God will show me what to say to him and what to do FOR him.  He says he goes to school, but Im not sure how because that costs money.  I have found that a lot of kids here tell you they go to school and that they have an exam tomorrow when you ask.  Please pray specifically for Miguel and Oscar, they are really heavy on my heart.  All of the kids are but they are but these two I know and can maybe somehow help?! Like MOM AND DAD ADOPT THEM. ha ha

Yesterday I was on skype (with me ma actually) and I experienced my first earthquake. No damage, wasn't a big one but definately big enough to be a very unsettling feeling. It's rainy season meaning it literally rains every day, usually just for a bit in the afternoon, but if it starts early it stays into the night. That happened yesterday so my saturday was spent at a coffee shop chatting, experiencing the ground shaking, then a long nap =) Jay my roomate and I came back later and went to a movie and there was HALI!!! My first friend
is back!!! She definately brightened my day =)

I've been trying to skype/call my dad for fathers day and its not really working and has somewhat put me in a bad mood. I JUST WANT TO TALK TO MY MOM AND DAD! But then I remember I not only have parents but the best ones in the world. So I am such a lucky girl, and bad mood GONE! 
HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD!!! LOVE YOU!

Thats all for now! Im in language school for 3 more weeks so not a lot to update on. Hopefully climbing a volcano named Pacaya this coming weekend! That should make for some good stories

LOVE YALL!

"Well I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see
because this broken road, prepares your will for me"

A picture from our trip to Panajachel. Great weekend!

Decisions

I am having a wonderful time in Guatemala.  I am enjoying every minute of getting to know my family here, the culture, language, and time with new friends.  It is so refreshing to know that I am exactly where I need to be.  I feel like my whole life I have thought well as soon as I get to this point I will be happy, like in middle school,  I knew high school would be the best, and then College, and then my time here in Guatemala.  They have all been wonderful experiences, but looking back I feel as though I spent more time preparing and getting excited about what’s to come instead of enjoying what’s there.

So for now, I am completely enjoying what’s right here for me now.  BUT, (there’s always a but!) in order to fulfill my 6 months in Guatemala, I still need about $1,900.00 more in order to stay.  I need this money in or pledged by THIS THURSDAY.  Otherwise this will be my last week of language school and I will come back to the states in September instead of November.

If 5 people pledge $76.00 a month for 5 months that is the amount I need!!!   I have come to terms with the possibility that I may be coming back in September if the funds do not come in, but I want it to be completely God’s decision, and at the end of the day I want to be able to know that I did what he asked of me to do and that what happens is all him and none of me.  So I am asking you to please think about being one of those 5, or giving what you can. 

I have become overwhelmed here by the love and offerings that people have poured out who have absolutely nothing, I really mean nothing.  This weekend I went to Lake Panajachel and during that time I saw a Maya ceremony.  People were offering everything to these gods that they were praying to.  Candles, flowers, anything that they could find they would offer. I thought to myself that as much as I am here to “help” there is so much I have to learn about giving freely and not being so bounded by stuff.   I wanted to go practice my Spanish with the partakers in the ceremony and tell them that there is this one God who loves you so much that he doesn’t require a sacrifice of you in order for him to hear your prayer.  I just prayed that He would show me what  to do with every second of my life while I am here (and always), I’m not just here to work at a children’s home or learn Spanish, everyday He has a mission for me.  I learned a lot from the Maya culture that day that I can take back to my own, but I have so much I want to share with them as well.  Praying on how to do that as well.

For now, will you pray along with me and about supporting me so I can stay or that God will clearly show me what his plan is.  If you can give please shoot me an email at rcowart4@georgiasouthern.edu  =)

Cool thing, this is the scripture that Natalie had written in my letter for today:

"Lord, according to Your word, if I whole heartedly commit whatever I do to You, my plans will succeed.  Lord, I acknowledge that the heart of committing any plan to You is seeking Your plan.  Show me the right path, Father."

LOVE AND MISS YOU ALL!

Loving Life in La Antigua

I am absolutely enjoying nearly every minute of life in Antigua.  I feel like I'm surrounded by old friends that I just haven't been near for all of my life ha ha. Simultaneously I am desperately missing my friends and family back home.  It's like I was put somewhere and you have two choices to thrive or go home, theres no in between.  Luckily God has shown me how to love where I am, look at all the positives, and have placed some wonderful people along the path.  Unfortunately, two of the wonderful people are going back to Texas tomorrow (Brooke and Lauren).  Brooke shares my twitter and Justin Bieber passion.  We bought the Justin Bieber movie for a dollar at a market and watched it at the school with 4 other people.  It was wonderful. 
They both also understand the complete fear of showering down here.  I promise my next blog will have a picture of the death trap.

Each day Im learning more Spanish and in turn I'm able to communicate more with my host family and learn more about them.  For example, Carlos the house dad is not a doctor like I thought he said, he owns a coffee farm.  You know what that means for breakfast?

thats right, instant coffee. They don't even own a coffee maker, or coffee outside of instant Nestle.  I mean thats like Mr. Coca Cola drinking Pepsi.  Its just nasty.  Anyway I will surrvive. Here are some pictures of my walk home monday night after trivia night at a local cafe. Which by the way the team name was Bieber Fever, only the guy had never heard of the Bieb's so it was actually Beaver Fever.  I think they might of been judging us.

 Is this not one of the most beautiful views? Everyday I pass it on the walk home.

 This is the view when its raining (which is nearly everyday, its rainy season)

 Lauren (Left) me and Brooke (Right) during our break of their last day of language school. SO SAD!

The other side of the roof of language school overlooking Antigua.

So all in all, I am enjoying this time of meeting new people, learning the language/culture, and preparing for my time with the the wonderful children when I get back to the home.  There isn't a ton to update, but I have so many thank you's for all of you for the encouragement that you have given me. Its a huge part of the reason I am learning to enjoy life here.  Thank you for reading =) I LOVE YOU ALL!

Poco de Poco

LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER!  I’m postingt the blog that I wrote on my computer Monday night and one from today.  I didn’t have much time for internet yesterday so I am just now posting it.  I hope you all know that your encouraging messages and comments have kept me going.  Seriously every single one!!!  I have never truly understood the effect that encouragement could really have on someone until you all covered me with it.  Yes, I am now begging to please keep it coming =).  So first is my blog from Monday night and then a shorter JOY filled one with pictures from today! Press on, it means the world to know that you all are reading about my life here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Monday’s depressing’ish blog~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Written Monday May 30, 2011

I hoped I would go one day without crying. But nights are hard. Dinner is over by 6:30, and that’s it for the night. It’s me and my room and the scary unfamiliar sounds that are outside.  I know God wants me here, and that’s what sucks the most is that I can’t just call it quits and go home. Home for now is not where He wants me.  My so smart new friend Halie made a good point to me on our walk back to our separate houses, she noticed my joyful mood turn sad again and when she asked me about it I just thought back to college and how I always knew there would be someone to hang out with when I got home who loved me and would watch out for me and I for them.  Don’t get me wrong I have very sweet house parents but our conversations aren’t very in depth obviously since I’m not fluent in Spanish (but I mean pretty dang close ;).  But after dinner I shower and come into my room and well, for tonight I am writing this. It’s my way of sharing with you all what’s going on, and talking with God at the same time.  Anyway so Haley was telling me I could always just go hang out with friends or get on facebook or watch tv, but here at the house we don’t have any of those things.  I’m writing this on word and posting the next day when I go to an internet café.  So this is God’s way of saying Colleen I want all of your attention.  But I’m an immediate gratification person, I can’t see him, I can’t hear him right away so I get frustrated and sad and for now, I just want a hug from a familiar face.

So my wonderful roommates that I am desperately missing wrote me a letter for each day I would be at language school. (They apparently knew how stinking difficult this would be, but they didn’t tell me!).  Anyway so those are so encouraging and the hi-light of my day, well except when I get to talk to my mom and dad, which makes me more sad because I’m so lucky to have the best parents in the world when these kids have no one.  So along with the letters Alison also wrote out a whole Journal for me, how wonderful is that?! So on today’s page was a picture of me and my mom.  To soon Alison, way too soon ;) anyway I lost it, I really thought I wouldn’t cry today. Well Natalie also made me this beautiful scrapbook with letters from all my close friends and my family to look at.  So while I decided to pick more at this scab, I decided I may as well look through it and just weep all night again.

That was such a good decision, because here is a quote that was in it and immediately I knew God is here and showing up. Thanks Lord for the immediate gratification.

“If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we’ll let him finish the work.  I fear, however, that we are so attention deficit that we settle for bearable, when beauty is just around the corner.”

-Beth Moore

So I’m not coming home, I’m looking for Jesus through all this because I know that I am here for a specific purpose both at language school and in the lives of these children who have had so many let them down already.  Beauty is just around the corner, and for tonight I’m going to bed completely trusting God in that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HAPPY BLOG TIME ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Written today Wednesday!

SO LIFE IS 10000000000 times better.  Because of all of you praying so hard and sending me so much encouragement God has shown me just how wonderful he is, when you humble yourself to ask others for help and prayers and then rely solely on him.

Monday I made 4 new friends, Tuesday I met 2 more (one is an aggie and one goes to Baylor!) and later this afternoon I’m meeting my very first and so sweet friend Halie in the park to meet more people.  It’s Wednesday and I feel like I have lived here forever.  I’m not getting lost every corner (just every other corner), I had my first experience dropping my laundry off and praying that it all comes back to me.  We will find out later tonight ;).  I went shopping at La BodeGona (it’s a grocery store), stepped over a passed out Guatemalteco (my espanol professor told me that people from Guatemala are Guatemalteco’s not Guatemalans).  I mean it’s been busy!   Oh and I have been electrocuted.  So hot water is rare and the only way they can get it is to have all these wires hanging over the middle of the shower attaching to the shower head.  Mind you these are uncovered electrical wires that water comes out next to.  So I was paying special attention to not die for most of my shower until I was getting aggravated at the lack of water pressure and my obnoxiously thick hair and I threw my hands up to scrub out my shampoo harder when SHOCK, I hit the wires, ouch, it really hurt.  Don’t worry I survived.  My finger hurt all the next day but it happens. Oh and the best part, the water was never even hot.

 I enjoy small stories like that, so I hope you do too =)

So some things I love about Antigua, my host family are sooooo nice and patient with my espanol.  My room is PINK, their german shepherd dog (Romeo) is about as sweet as they come, our meals are amazing I love Guatemalan food, especially when its spaghettiJ.  I FOUND DIET COKE!!! It’s the equivalent of like 42 cents.  Oh and it gets better people, there is a SUBWAY (like the sandwich place!) AND BEST OF ALL I FOUND A LEGIT CREPE RESTAURANT!!! Just like the ones in Paris or Germany, or at least I hope.  They looked the same and they have nutella and strawberry! That’s going to be Sunday’s adventure with my new friends. On Sundays we are not provided with meals, which is great because I’m ready to explore more places besides café’s. 

 So this is the parrrot that was outside my room this afternoon on the avocado tree

 This is my room at language school ITS PINK

 Dropping my laundry off :)

 Romeo is so sweet. But scared me the first night.

 THe view from language school! How awesome :)

So thank you all for all your love and support! I promise to get back to all of you bit by bit. Internet is limited but know that I LOVE YOU!

The First 5 Days....yikes

I have no idea where to even start this blog.  Today is Day 5 of life in Guatemala and saying it’s been a roller coaster ride would be an understatement.  I knew going into this that I would be the only intern at the Children’s Home and that it’s in a dangerous part of Guatemala and all that other stuff but boy did I underestimate what I thought I knew!  First here are some important names so my stories make sense! Lee is the intern coordinator and Staci who does other stuff at the home is his wife, they are really sweet people!  Cannon is their one and half year old son.  So Lee and Cannon picked me up from the airport and right away it was what I thought it would be because it’s a lot like Honduras and Tapachula, but it was culture shock in the sense that holy cow I’m not with all my friends doing this, I’m alone and I don’t actually know anyone. 

The day went pretty well, we pulled into the children’s home and I liked where I was staying and the kids were ready to play, we had lunch and I thought okay this is going to be great.  Then like halfway through the day (I was really tired as well) I started to second guess it all.  Well actually that happened on the airplane but this was even more so.  So Lee was giving me a tour of the compound, which is divided in half by a public street.  Each side is surrounded by concrete with electric wire at the top and there is an armed guard at each of the two entrances.  I remember thinking oh good I’m safe, and then I did the dumb thing of asking well do people still break in.  They do on the occasion jump the fence and the guards chase them out.  I mean this town is desperate for basic needs so obviously people are going to do what they need to do to meet those needs.  Anyway so that night (which its dark at 6:30) at about 9:30 I walked from one side of the compound (where Staci and Lee live, we played Mexican Dominoes with some of the older ones who live at the home but are college/young adult aged) to mine crossing the street with the guards and then I got lost as to where my dorm was and then by the time I found it, I was soaking wet, the keys wouldn’t work to unlock the door, and the security dogs were barking so I was so sure they were about to attack me thinking I was trouble.  I got in, but man was that literally the worst night quite possibly of my life.  If you know me you know one I hate even sleeping in my own room much less in my own little house thing  on the opposite side of the street of the majority of people. So my mom skyped me to sleep, how wonderful is she =). 

The next couple of days were good during the day starting the process of building relationships with the kids and hanging out, but same thing at night just scared and lonely and as pathetic as it sounds crying myself to sleep and knowing that as soon as daylight comes I’m heading to the airport to go home.  Then daylight comes and things are better. 

So yesterday (Sunday) Staci and Lee took me to Antigua for language school.  They showed me the school and I met Arturo the owner and then we headed to my host home.  There was a housekeeper there but not the family so I dropped my stuff had a quick tour of everything and then headed to dinner with Lee and Staci.  By this point I was trying to figure out how best to tell them that I’m actually riding back with them to Villa Nueva because I’m catching the first flight out the next day. I mean people it is SCARY.  Antigua is fairly safe but it’s just me here. Well I never said it instead I just cried a lot and then they dropped me off back at the home where I am staying and it was dark. So the way typical middle class Guatemalan houses are set up is you come through these double doors and inside is a courtyard (which is beautiful) and they park their car in there as well and each room of the house has faces the courtyard and you go in through a door for each room.  So I’m in my room, its completely dark in the courtyard and I can’t even find the bathroom.  My mom and calls and she talked me through finding it and figuring out how to break the news to Lee and Staci that after all of their work getting me to this point, I’m leaving to go home in the morning. 

Well today is Monday and I am in Antigua in a coffee shop with 4 new friends, not on a plane back home.  I prayed and cried all night long that God would please just bring one person to sooth me and walk me through this tough time and transition so I could do what I know he has called me to do here.  This morning I woke up not really believing I would be going anywhere but home.  I went to breakfast and met my host dad who was nice and tried to eat the meal but my stomach has hurt non stop since boarding the plane to Guatemala because I was so nervous and just terrified really.  Then I walked to school and met my teacher (it’s one on one speaking in Spanish for 4 hours!! I’m pretty much fluent after today, well okay not really) Anyway his name is Harvey and he is wonderful and patient and a great teacher.  Half way through the four hours you get a coffee break PRAISE THE LORD.  I walked down and heard these two girls talking about music at church and I was like wait Church, what are you here for? The rest is history. God answered my prayer and I have a very new sweet new friend Haley! We made plans to meet up after lunch (you eat all meals with your host family except Sunday you are on your own).  So we met up at the central park and she walked me through understanding how to get around Antigua and then we met up with some friends she had met at a coffee shop and here I am writing this blog while they are studying.  But they have internet here so I figured may as well take advantage of it and study tonight. 

So for now life is good here, those horribly difficult days are in the past, I hope at least ha ha but this is good.  My biggest prayer is that when I get back to the home there will be a bed for me on the other side of the compound so I can sleep and be rested to be with all those wonderful children.  So please keep that in your prayers =)  I love you all so much and will for sure update soon!!! I promise pictures by the end of this week =)

FAITH, or should I say my lack of...

Walking by Faith EVEN when I cannot see..

No thanks its a little too scary and unknown for me. (My mantra for the past 23 yrs. and 2 weeks).
Apparently I cannot take that attitude to Guatemala, so God is doing a little rearranging of my heart. This is what he is teaching me!

Walking by Faith is not seeing and saying oh okay now that I see what’s going on I’m going to walk by faith.  Then when the next thing comes up saying oh no let me handle this, but don't worry I still have faith in God.  No you don't have faith in God.  I don't have faith in God. I have believed that the money for Guatemala will come in because I have known this is what God has planned for me.  It is my passion to serve the hurting and broken children of Central America and to teach them a life of freedom in Christ, something that’s hard to know until you have experienced it!

But I lost my faith in God, meaning I lost my belief that there is a God.  I have realized that I only have $1,300.  I need almost $5,000. That didn't seem like so much money back in November. Back when I was accepted to do this internship and completely pumped about it.  Back when the number 5,000 seemed so small and my God seemed so BIG.  Sure I underestimated the economy, the hardships people in my own country are having.  But, I have also underestimated how REALLY REALLY BIG GOD IS. And I have OVER estimated my faith in him.  If I believe in God, the real one, the one in heaven that has healed people countless times, the one who watched as His son died on a cross to save the world even though we mocked Him, and then RAISED JESUS FROM THE DEAD. If I believe in THAT GOD than shame on me for starting to doubt that he could not bring the people into my life needed to reach a set amount that will allow me to go and share this minuscule faith I have.  Wait what miniscule faith? Yep that’s exactly what I have. That’s probably the reason why I don't have the amount needed because I have needed to learn this lesson of what Faith is. The faith that I am now slowly starting to learn the true meaning of.  This is the exact lesson I needed to learn if I am ever going to be able to truly share with people just how BIG HE IS. I still don't know quite how big he is, but I know he's bigger than any single thing that could ever come in my way or yours, or anyone.  So now before I can fully see I am going to have FAITH IN GOD and in His word that claims he has a plan for me. I have been made to share the word of God and to serve Him.  So I will do that right here, right where I am until my BIG GOD is ready to provide the means of doing it in Guatemala, where I believe He wants me. 

I am so thankful for this lesson. Do I have a dime more than the $1,300 I had yesterday? No. Is God going to provide in His timing and according to His plan? YES!!! Is He going to do it according to mine? NOPE, sure isn't.  I am okay with that...now.  Now that He has taught me how to walk by Faith and not by Colleen. I have FAITH in God, so how can I not walk in Faith knowing Him? How can any of us?

Someone very smart said, Get on God’s plan and off Colleen’s. So I’m asking everyone to walk in faith with me because that is all we can do.

Well thats not all we can do, you can still purchase some Bruster’s ice cream ;)

FUNDRAISING!!!

Yesterday I surpassed my $1,000 mark! I still have about $3,000 more to go! Half of which is due by the end of April. Here are some great ways to send me to Guatemala, check it all out!

        PARENTS DAY OUT 

            Enjoy a relaxing Saturday afternoon while your children are having a blast at Mill Creek Park playing and learning about Jesus.  All the while you will be supporting Colleen Cowart’s six month mission at New Life Children’s Home in Guatemala.  Colleen is graduating in May with a Bachelor’s in Child and Family Development and will be moving to Guatemala at the end of May.  Colleen and several other volunteers from Konnection Kids will provide activities, a Bible story, and snacks for the children.  All of the proceeds go directly to the cost ($4,600) of living and working at the Children’s home in Guatemala.

• Where: Mill Creek Park
• Who: All children ages 3-12
• When: Saturday, April 16, 2011 from 12:00pm-3:00pm
• Cost: $25.00 for your first child, $10.00 for your second, and $5.00 for each additional child per family.
• R.S.V.P: Please contact Colleen Cowart by Friday, April 15, 2011.          

               Phone: (912) 515-5163
               E-mail: rcowart4@georgiasouthern.edu

BRUSTERS ICE CREAM FUNDRAISER

If you are unable to participate in Parents Day Out, and would still like to support Colleen, check out her partnership with Bruster’s and buy a tasty treat!  http://www.flavoroverflavor.com/colleen.aspx.

BRACELET FUNDRAISER

I am also selling bracelets at 180 Fitness! Stop by and buy some! I have them with me at all times as well. If you don't live here I can always mail them as well ;)



THANKS FRIENDS! Love you all!

I need $4,000 by April 30!!! Spread the word!

Hey friends! Below is my support letter, I still need $3,000 more to rescue all the children in Guatemala. =) What can I say its a big dream given by a big God! And a big amount I need! Please read and pray about giving. TONS of prayer needed as well!

Dear Family and Friends,

            This is the most exciting letter I have ever written.  I have been given the chance to move to Guatemala for six months to intern with New Life Children’s Home (NLCH), a branch of New Life Advance International (NLAI).  While there, I will go to language school for six weeks and live with a Guatemalan family in Antigua to learn about their language, government, and culture.  After language school, I will move to the children’s home in Villa Nueva, a town outside of Guatemala City. During my stay at the home, I will have the opportunity to work in the home and help raise 50 children of all ages. I will spend my day at the NLCH school that serves over 400 children both who live in the home and those who live in the local community.
            I have known since my first trip to Honduras three years ago that God has big plans for me to do mission work in Central America.  It took a lot of patience and preparation to get to this point and I have never been so excited and sure that this is my calling.
Here are some statistics about Guatemala:

• 72% of Guatemalans are considered to live in poverty.
• 40% of babies born in Guatemala will not live to be 5 years old.
•  Half the population in Guatemala is illiterate.

• Guatemala’s land size is that of Tennessee yet their homicide rate is double that of Mexico, averaging about 11,000 murders a year and continues to go up because of drug cartel. 

            NLCH provides a safe place for children to live amidst the most dangerous slum in Guatemala.  These children have come from dangerous and abusive homes or found on the streets neglected. At the home, they are provided an education, medical care, love, and the opportunity to know Jesus Christ. The home was started in 1978 and has since built a school, clinic, and expanded the home on the compound. They are given hope and a future that they would not have otherwise through the love of Christ. Because of this ministry, the children are developing a desire to trust and follow God despite their previous circumstances. In turn, they will become citizens of Guatemala that can change the future of their country.
            I have dreamt of building my own children’s home in Central America or becoming a permanent part of one that already exists.  This six month internship will allow me to see if this is what I am called to do and to watch God open up more doors of opportunity. Each of you receiving this letter has played an important role in my life. I want you to be a part of this experience with me. I firmly believe that God answers the prayers of those who seek Him. I’m asking for you to commit to praying for me and the ministry in several ways: for the precious children that I will be living with, for the government in Guatemala, and for our safety. The cost to cover everything is roughly $4,600. God has shown me over and over again that he will always provide. Whether it is praying for me, giving financially, or both, please prayerfully consider being a part of this experience.

In Christ,
 Colleen Cowart         
   

 If you feel that God is leading you to support me, by giving financially, (All financial support is tax deductible!), then please make checks out to NLAI (with my name on the memo line) and mail to the following address:
NLAI
P.O. Box 35857
Houston TX, 77235
During my internship I will be blogging and would love for you to follow along!
http://diospuedesalvar.blogspot.com/





“Lord you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so mere people can no longer terrify them.”
                     ~Psalm 10: 17-18